Saturday, 31 October 2009

Happy Halloween

My most favourite day of the year has arrived.  Forget birthdays, forget christmas, Halloween is where it is at.  Theres no false expectations or hype, its just a day to get dressed up have a party and a laugh.  Perfect, and then bonfire night a few nights later.  I love this week it makes me so hyper I feel like i'm 5 again.  Mittens on string, baked potatoes and leaves to kick down the street.  What more could you ask for!

Today we are off to clacton for a halloween party.  i;ve been told a lot of beer and food has been brought, and the host has said I should put my diet off for a day, but you know what, whilst the old me would be tempted by that, this is more a lifestyle than a diet right?  I am not going to abstain from the food, more that I am going to make good choices.  I will drink beer but it will only be one or two not the 6 or 7 that I would usually aim for. 

I'm going to have an ace time, but more importantly when it comes to monday and I stand on the scales if I am still at the 12 stone 11 that I havent been able to shift I will feel confident that it wont be because of tonights excesses.  I hate that feeling that when you stay the same or put on weight, you can pinpoint the moment where you screwed up that week.  It just makes me feel miserable, and i'm determined not to feel like that this time round. 

So far I am actually enjoying all this healthy eating and exercise. Its really improved my mood I think.  I feel more positive about myself and about life in general (although to be honest I always feel positive about life these days because I have it pretty good in comparison to some people I know) So yeah weight loss this week would be nice, but at the end of the day i'm in this for the long haul and I know that even if it doesnt come off this week or even next week, if I keep exercising and eating properly then it will come off.

And this is blake, shes a doll I have, well I say that but I can't find her, I've been searching for months.  Shes tiny so shes easily lost but shes a vampire so I thought it appropriate to post a picture of her as a halloween thing.

So yeah happy halloween people, and good luck everyone on tackling it.

Friday, 30 October 2009

Beng stubborn

That pound just really doesn't want to shift huh, 12 stone 11,  I saw 12 stone 10 yesterday but its 12 stone 11 again today, maybe it doesnt want to leave.  Maybe it'll miss me when it's gone I don't know.

I've been really good recently in eating dinner earlier, normally me and my guy would eat at around 9 or 10 o clock at night, which is bad when you go to bed a couple of hours later, so i've been trying to have food done by 7 at the latest but last night we had a friend round and we ended up ordering chinese food, there was a mixed starter with veg spring rolls and chicken satay and prawn toast and spare ribs. I had one spring roll and that was it, and then my main I had ordered was chicken chow mein.  Now I could have picked something better I guess, but for lunch I had had 3 rivita with light philidelphia on them, for breakfast I had had banana on rice crispies, I'd also eaten one apple and a pack of snackajacks during the day and that was it.  so I thought i'd be allowed a little something nice.  Today the scales said no, so I guess not.  *sighs*

Heres a pictue I drew, the bunny is me.  Carrots have become a bit of a crutch for me, if im peckish I have a bag of sliced carrots and salsa to dip them in.  I really enjoy it, but i've run out of both at the moment.

So anyway this weekend is going to be a tricky one.  I have my friend jane coming round tonight, Im hopefully going to make ratatouille for dinner so thats safe, then 2moro I have a haloween party, again with the crazy amount of alcohol and buffet dodging.  I'm determined to do it though because that bloomin 12 stone 11 pound will shift whether it kills me.  (how much does an arm weigh, I dont really use my left one, if I loped that off it would probably make me drop half a stone huh LOL)

On monday I have my husbands works party to go to.  I have this awesome awesome dress to wear and a petticoat came yesterday that swishes underneath it.  I love it sooo much.  I will show you pictures when my darling hubby takes one of me.

Anyway HUGS to everyone on this friday,  just one more day to go till the weekened YAY YAY

Wednesday, 28 October 2009

This weekend as at the haloween picnic I sat there in Jennys living room surrounded by the majority of my friends I felt really really lucky. I think its important every so often to step back from what you are doing and recognise that actually when all the chips are on the table I've been pretty serendipitous. The internet has literally transformed my life and I have a much better life because of it, its opened so many doors for me and really i'm thankful for each and every person I know. I think perhaps some people don't recognise how lucky they are and thats a shame, or like so many things are perfect in their lives but they have things that niggle them so they complain about the little details, but overall everything else is really rather good. I am going to try to focus more on the positive aspects of my life rather than the negative ones.

Also its payday on friday which is good, this coming month, other than bills and essentials I am going to try and not spend anything. I need to start recouping money for christmas, which unfortunately is on our doorstep, or so the adverts on the radio and TV would have you believe. I have no ideas what to get Paul (my husband)  and he's not being very helpful in the ..."What do you want for christmas?" ...."Don't know".... round robin that we have every year for xmas/birthdays. I wrote a xmas song the other day. I'm thinking about recording that one sooner rather than later. Less than a week till I go record some of my stuff. Its all pretty exciting. I'm super nervous about spending the whole day with Gary (hes the guy that does the recording) he's a very touchy feely person and it really puts me on edge. I just want him to respect my boundaries but he seems happiest giving you random shoulder massages and stuff. At least its not just me, he does it to everyone.

I'm halfway through an extremely intense week at work. one girl lots of work, and its making me very tired indeed. Monday I seriously crashed out on the sofa once i'd gotten home from work and run 30 minutes on the wii fit (that got me 9.6k in distance I felt pretty happy with that although my legs turned to jelly the second I stopped running) I havent lost anymore weight since like forever, but so far measurement wise i've lost 2cms on my upper arms (not length, circumference) 3cm on my hips, 3cm on my bust 2cm on my thighs and 1cm on my waist. So its clearly working right? Just not sure why my weight isnt shifting, guess i'm replacing the fat with muscle at the moment. its alright, im not cheesed off just yet I mean i've only been going since sept the 28th so 11 pounds lost is still pretty cool, but I hope the weight starts to shift soonish. Ack!!! I was trying not to talk about weight. today. DoH I clearly just cant help myself

Oh and I heard some Alison Moyet on the radio yesterday and I knew all the words, but up until hearing it on the radio I didn't even remember that the song existed. LOL it put me right back to when I was about 5 years old and my mum would do the housework and the house would smell of wood polish and the sunbeams would shine through the curtains to make the dust motes dance.  It was a really nice memory and made me really nostalgic

Monday, 26 October 2009

Okay so this week I stand on the scales and again I haven't lost anything, im still 12 stone 11. But theres merit in staying the same after the weekend I had.

Friday stiff little fingers were awesome.  I had one pint of beer which was amazing for me because I was sort of envisaging being completely wasted by the end of the night, instead that was my husband LOL who'd had  7 pints.  he felt awful the next morning, whereas I was bright and breezey and ready for the days challenges, which involved heading up to wolverhampton for a bonfire/haloween party. 

SOOO much food was there it was crazy pork pies by the piles and the host jenny, works at a bakery so she had gotten these doughnuts with pink icing all made up as well as crumpets and well lets just say there was a mountain of food that looked really really tasty.  I had planned to avoid it all as I had brought my own things like cooked chicken and rivitas and snacka jacks and stuff but in the end I did have a cookie or two and a handfull or so of pringles and some potatoe skins and I ended up having a bite out of one of those doughnuts but the rest went to my wonderful husband, who saved me from the calories.

Before the diet if I had gone to the picnic I certainly wouldnt have been restrained in my eating as I was, I would have gone away feeling bloated and very sorry for myself knowing I had over indulged, but I came away from the whole thing feeling really rather positive.  I felt proud of myself and I didnt feel like I had lost out at all.

All in all the weekend was a success, just two more parties to navigate and then it should be back to plain sailing again, one on this coming saturday then another on the monday straight afterwards.  If I cant get through those relatively unscathed then I will be laughing.

(oh and i've killed the word verificatiion thing because that seems to still be causing problems, so hopefully with it turned off maybe people will beable to comment,  who knows.  I wonder why its messed up like that?)

Saturday, 24 October 2009

 Went to a punk gig last night to see stiff little fingers, was very hot sweaty and bouncy why is it that the majority of people who mosh are about 6 foot five and 18 stone, ended up with one trampled foot and a dead arm by the end of it but very sweaty...ick.  Still part of me was curious how many calories i'd burned.

Also I think i've fixed my blog, my template might have been the problem as to why people couldn't comment.  Would someone please comment on this blog or a previous one for me, just to confirm i've fixed it.  i dont know why the word verification wont pop up but 3 people have now said this, so I've had a go at fixing it.

Off today to a bonfire/haloween party/weekend  its going to be pure awesomeness wrapped in a sparkly box.  I havent seen the people i'm going up with since may so i'm really excited.  I even have a pumpkin for the occasion. so super YAY YAY and I bought loads of healthy stuff for food, like snack a jacks and quorn pieces and stuff so its going to be guilt free for the majority of it I hope.  I just gotta go easy on the alcohol.

Thursday, 22 October 2009


Thursdays area  good day for it to be in the week, not like tuesdays, Tuesdays are the worst.  But thursday is already a 'gearing up for the weekend' sort of day, and this coming weekend I am both excited and a little apprehensive.  You see on friday I am going to a gig to see Stiff Little Fingers which is a present I got for my husband and theres going to be a lot of alcohol involved. 

I'm determined to have a weight loss this week so I really want to be careful this weekend, but after friday's gig on saturday and sunday I'm spending it up at wolverhampton with a heap of my mates at a haloween/bonfire night BBQ/picnic  This is sending warning sirens going blaring through my head.  I am always rubbish at these things, so many random things to nibble on.  I am going to have to be very careful I think, its not so much teh savoury stuff but once the cakes and sweets come out i'm done for, although yesterday at work it was my managers birthday and he bought in tonnes of cakes and I didnt have a single one, instead I was happy with my apple.

Then 2 days ago someone else from work brought in a giant tin of quality street, the little green traingle hazlenutty chocolate things are one of my main weaknesses (along with cheesecake and carrotcake if all these three things were combined I think i'd spontaneously combust) so you know what I did,  I didnt eat a single one.  I felt so proud of myself, normally I would have been dipping into that tin all day, but nope,  I let other people put on the calories whilst I ended up feeling really in control and happy about myself.  So YAY

Tuesday, 20 October 2009

Stock Intake

So yesterday I made the weight watchers chicken noodle soup recipe, only for my chicken stock I used those new jellied stock pot things thats being advertised on the Tv.  it said to disolve 1 in 500ml of water so as I was making a litre  of soup I used 2.  I threw in some left over mushrooms as well because my husband loves mushrooms, but other than that I followed the recipe down to the wire.
When it came to eating it though it was unbelievably salty.  I dont add salt to anything,  I don't actually like salt and I know that you get it in most things you eat naturally so I never add it to stuff i'm cooking even if it says to in the recipe.  My husband wolfed it down cause he quite likes salty stuff.  So After dinner out of curiosity I went back and looked at the ingredients on the jellied stock pot thing and was a bit taken aback to read that for every 100ml of stock there was 19% of your recommended daily salt intake.  Now because i'd made this as our main meal for the evening, we had big bowls of the stuff, 1 litre made 4 helpings but between us we polished the lot off and so that means I must have eaten 500ml if we split the litre.  which means I had 5 time the 19% of salt which is 95% of my salt intake in one meal, thats not including any of the extra ingredients in the stock like the chicken or the noodles or soy sauce or any of that.  No wonder I was glugging back squash afterwards. it felt like I'd drank the sea, whereas in fact the sea would probably have contained less salt.

So I stood on the scales today and found that i'm 12 stone 12 again.  Thats silly dontcha think, or does salt make you puff up?  I've been really carefull about what I eat and havent deviated from any plans or anything. So I was a bit narked to say the least about being heavier today.  I really have to stop standing on the scales everyday, but I dont know how to avoid doing it.  I'm a great lover of stats and I think this compells me to stand on the scales. 
So any ideas how not to do it?

Also I stayed up till 2am last night to play Uncharted 2. I've almost finished the game, but staying up till 2 and then getting up at 7 to go to work is not conducive to being in the land of the living.  I am mrs zombie today yep, I've even been dragging my left foot to prove it, because everyone knows you can't claim to be a zombie if your left foot doesn't drag.

And yet even though i'm dead to the world with no energy I am still going to get on that wii fit balance board and do my exercises, even if it kills me.  Which it might.  Although if i'm already a zombie then technically i'm dead already.

Monday, 19 October 2009

Its another day on the scales

So weigh in day came round pretty quick this week, on the scales I am reading....Duh Du Duuuuuh....(thats suspence music for anyone who didn't know)....12 stone 11.  Yep thats where I was last week, but hey don't fret, its not a problem I mean since September the 28th i've lost 11lbs which is 11 pounds less that I would be right now if I hadn't started losing weight right?  And that was only 3 weeks ago in the big scheme of things so 11 pounds in 3 weeks is pretty spiffy.  I can't really complain about that.

 I went out for an indian meal on thursday because it was my husbands birthday and the day after that I stepped on the scale I was 2 pounds heavier so I shifted that back off which just confirmed to me that weight loss is all about being sensible and compensating for over eating and doing everything in moderation.  I mean I'd promised myself I would only drink 2 pints that night, and to be honest I ended up drinking 4, if I'd stuck to my original plan then I think the damage would have been less and I may have been looking at a 1 pound weight loss this week but hey, live and learn. I knew weight loss this way wasn't going to be an overnight thing, unlike the cambridge diet.  But at least through this way of eating less and exercising, i'm learning proper lifestyle choices.

In other non- diet related news  I finally have a date to go to a music studio and start recording some of my songs.  3rd of november.  I have the studio from 10am till 6pm, that might be enough to get a couple of songs sorted out.  I'm going to record my kitkat song first because I want to start working on the music video for it.  I have some stuff up on youtube if you're interested

JammieSammy at the boxmoor music on the moor festival

I sing comedy songs, most of them are rude actually but the ones in the link are clean mainly because it was a family music festival and I'd just feel weird singing rude words infront of children.  I cant wait to have properly recorded stuff.  I only started singing on stage properly since july and its really really scary but since i've started losing weight i've also recognised in myself that I feel more confident standing up on stage.  I'm looking forward to the day I get up on stage looking all svelte....(i'm pretty sure thats a word, and if its not, it should be)

Sunday, 18 October 2009

podge be gone

Okay so I started this whole get fit get slim idea on the 28th of september so that'll be 3 weeks tomorrow.  I ache.  I have ached every day, because every day I have been doing a range of exercises and boy does it hurt.  My body doesnt like exercise, its doing that whole protesting thing, but I think it may actually be working.  Exercise combined with weight watchers seems to be at the very least making me feel positive that i'm doing something about my increasing creep up the weight scale. 

I feel like i'm doing something responsible for once in my life. Thats not something that happens very often, infact I actively avoid feeling responsible (accept at work I have to be responsible there because i'm in charge of my laboratory)  during my free time i'm just really a big kid.  I love all things stupid and silly I still have mittens on string and often have my hair in bunches.  it just makes me feel happy.  I mean for my birthday all I ever ask for is a balloon and a badge,  it doesnt feel like a birthday if you don't have a badge.

I collect old skool cartoons I used to watch as a kid like the flumps and bagpuss and dungeons and dragons and thundercats.  I think my favourites have to be button moon and fraggle rock though.  the problem wth having an active inner kid though is sweets.  Chocolate and sweets are a real problem in my life I have such a sweet tooth its amazing I only have one tooth filling. Adult responsible me says "NO!" to sweets but inner child me says "more more more" its stupid really  But since coming onto weight watchers i've been swapping my chocolate for apples and my sweets for activia yogurt, its still sweet enough to give me a kick and leaves me feeling positive.

But autumn always makes me feel happy the leaves are pretty and you can kick up the leaves and they crunch and at night the air is so crisp and you can see the stars really well. You can go home and switch on the lights and its warm and cosy and snuggly. These things just really make me feel content.

Thursday, 15 October 2009

Happy Birthday

It's my husbands birthday today, and We're going to an indian restaurant.  I'm not too worried about the food, I like the tandoori stuff so thats actually fairly good for you, what I am worried about is the beer.  Thats where my body piles it on.  BEER BEER BEER!  My husband...his name is Paul, got me into drinking real ale and I usually match him pint for pint, now whilst his waist is something stupid like 32" mines not because he can easily drink 4-5 pints ina  night and not put on any podge.  I just have to look at a beer and suddenly im a pound heavier.  I am going to drink tonight, but i'm going to limit myself to 2 pints,  that might sound a lot but actually for me thats not very much at all.  Hopefully I wont do much damage.  I guess tomoro will tell huh.

In other news Got a new TV yesterday 32 inch HD 1080p thing its really shiney and doing my exercises on the wii on it makes doing exercises that little bit nicer. So yay. pretty-ness and it was in effect free due to us spending our wedding gift voucher on it so even better.

Wednesday, 14 October 2009

Open university

My life is pretty crazy, I do a billion things I guess I blame it on being a gemini.  I get easily distracted so need lots of variety to keep me interested.  But I also have a pattern, you see I get really obsessed about things for a few months.  I live and breath whatever hobby I have and then one day the enthusiasm just vanishes and I drop whatever it is i'm doing and move onto something else, but the thing is after about a year cycle I always return to the original hobby, so I make sure I keep all the stuff because I know eventually I will return to it.
So my hobbies that go round and round include:- Learning Japanese, Arts and crafts, Robotics, writing poetry/songs, dress making
So I just go round and round, but I've found a new hobby.  Open University.  I'm getting myself a degree, theres only one problem with this.  I cant just drop it when the enthusiasm runs out.  OU courses have a timetable you have to adhere to,  this is proving a new challenge and one i'm thoroughly enjoying.  But tonight is my first tutorial.  Excting biscuits

Anyway I drank beer last night.  I'm a really big alcohol fan and my husband brought back some  honeydew from our local pub last night so I drank one (which is actually really restrained for me) and I enjoyed it because I chose to drink it.  I wasn't worrying about it because I knew I had enough WW points to drink it without destroying any hard work.  I ran for 20 minutes yesterday, I know that doesnt sound like alot but thats a helluvahlot more than I could say this time last month.  So I ran it and that ended up equalling 6km  I dont know if thats good or not but boy I was sweating and knackered after it.  I was going to give up at the 10 minute mark but glad I pushed myself to 20 mins.  This fat will vanish.  I promised myself that and i'm sticking to it.

Tuesday, 13 October 2009

Oh crap how did that happen!

Hmmm. I know you're not supposed to stand on the scales until weigh in day and my weigh in day is monday which was yesterday where I weighed 12 stone 11 which is fine I have no problem with that because thats a loss of 4 pounds from last week, but today I stood on the scales and was 12 stone 13.  WTF how did that happen?  No seriously i'm not even deluding myself from having a binge yesterday because I didn't.  I ate fruit veg chicken and yoghurt, oh and a smoked salmon bagel which is a recipe from weight watchers, I was actually under my points allowance by about 6 points by the end of the day so where did that 2 pounds come from?  I've been keeping up my water i've been exercising every day? 

Could I have suddenly put on 2 pounds of muscle overnight?  I've noticed my arms and stomach getting tighter so okay I am building muscle but does it pile on that quick?  I'm confused a bit about it to be honest.  I've even been eating earlier at night time because me and my husband have a tendacy to eat at 9 or sometimes later so i've been trying to make sure we've eaten by 7:30 at the latest so theres at least 4 hours before when we go to bed.  I'm a bit narked about it all in fairness, but equally it hasnt made me any less motivated I know the pounds will go away eventually but its still ticked me off somewhat when i've been being very good.

Monday, 12 October 2009

2nd weigh in

Well today was monday which meant weigh day.  I'm now at 12 stone 11 according to my scales, that means another 4lbs off since last week.  Thats pretty unexpected.
I mean i've been doing at least half an hours worth of exercise every day and I havent eaten any chocolate or alcohol since I started the diet which considering i'd have at least 1 pint most nights thats quite an achievement.
I've been doing yoga every day and i've already noticed my arms are getting firmer which is really cool cause my underarms are one of my biggest things I freak out about.  It would be nice to feel confident about my arms.  Actually scrap that it would be nice to feel confident in any sense of the word.

Saturday, 10 October 2009

Pickled onion Monster munch. only 1.5 weight watchers points. (although I think thats for the original sized bags not the new 'Old' larger sized bags)

I remember eating these as a kid, the fact they would burn the roof of your mouth clean off because they were so acidic just fills me with nostalgia.
Well I'm actually a big kid at heart and when I saw the new 'old' version I had to get a pack, and even more to my surprise I realised they had made the monster munch pieces bigger so it was like being a kid again. You can put them on your fingers like rings and nibble away....okay thats my own odd eating habits, in much the same way you have to nibble the chocolate off the edge of a bounty before eating the exposed coconutty bit last, but lets not talk about chocolate, I havent had any for over a week which is astounding for me...back on with the monstermunch story.
I work in a laboratory testing soil in various different ways, and just out of pure curiosity due to the acidic nature of pickled onion monster munch I wanted to see what the pH of one crushed down was, so I crushed it down, added distilled water and stuck the pH meter in. It ended up reading 1.47 thats quite acidic huh. Now that wasn't the problem. When I came to clean the meter it seemed it didnt want to clean. There was a sort of oily residue on the indicator and no matter how much i washed it it wouldn't come off. I couldn't take it up to the boss and say it was broken due to the fact it absolutely stunk of pickled onion. The meter constantly read well below its normal readings for the whole day. I was freaking out so left it in warm distilled water over night. Its fairly back to normal now, but I think I would have been in serious trouble if it hadn't sorted itself out.
Another one of those incidents that I chalk up to being occasionally speshul. So in conclusion
Monstermunch = goodness for weightwatchers
Monstermunch = badness for pH meters.
I do these things so you dont have to

Thursday, 8 October 2009

My cat

My cat seems to be going on a one cat mission to wreck the house recently. I dont know whats up with her. She's named Sheol which according to my husband (who named her) is hebrew for hell pit. Well she's certainly living up to her name.
Today she weed on the sofa, For some reason she picked the exact spot where my passport was so now my passport smells of cat wee. Why out of the entire house did she pee there? 2 days ago she weed on my eiderdown duvet so thats wrecked, she'd slowly working her way through my stuff wrecking it. What have I done to incurr her wrath? I feed her I pet her she seems genuinely happy. Is it just because its getting cold outside that she can't be bothered making the 10 step trek out the catflap?

She must hate me

Tuesday, 6 October 2009

What I do

Okay, so I should probably tell you a little bit about me huh. Lemme see....

I work full time in a laboratory. Its a geotechnical site investigation place which basically means we get soil from all over the country and we perform tests on it, like washing it and rolling it till its of a playdoh sort of consistency. Hitting mud and pressuring mud and weighing mud and...well quite frankly its a dirty and sometimes very physically demanding job. If you're a girly girl you dont last very long because all your nails get broken and you often have dry skin due to dust being in the air. I love it though. I'm not very good with people you see. So a job where I don't have to deal with phones or the public suits me fine. I'm the leader of one of the labs, there used to be 5 people working in that lab and at the moment Yep thats it, just me. I'm working flat out to keep on top of things and it can be quite stressfull but you go home with a sense of acheivement if you manage to do all the things you need to do.

In my spare time though, thats where I get really busy. I taught myself to crochet so I crochet random things like punk snails. I also write comedy songs and sing them around pubs and clubs. I actually have a song now about my punk snail called scott, who moshes very very slowly.

The problem with going around pubs singing is that where theres pubs theres alcohol and thats one of my major sticking areas. I dont eat fatty foods I cant rememebr the last time I had something deep fat fried, but pints of real ale (i'm a member of CAMRA) really seem to find their way far to easily into my tummy. They dont call it a beer belly for no reason you know and often i'll be down the pub most nights to have a couple with my husband. Whilst hes a size 10 lanky beanpole guy quaffing back 2-4 pints of brakspear some nights. I keep up with his pace and put on a pound or two each other day.

Since joining Weight watchers I've tried to cut back on the beer, or at least factor it into my points planning. So far since joining weight watchers i've had 3 pints thats amazing for me so i'm pretty chuffed

What else do I do? Oh yeah Cosplay. Cosplay is where you dress up as computer game or japanese anime characters and go to conventions to stand in lines in order to talk to various cast members of various TV shows. Heres one of me from an anime called card captor sakura.

Its all pretty silly but its great fun. At 28 I should really be calling it quits but theres still so many costumes I havent tried yet that I really want to have a go at. Most of them require that you have a fairly trim figure and its one of my reasons for losing weight.
So anyway thats me in a nutshell I do other stuff too like i'm currently doing a degree with the open university in my free time. I also do artwork and write poetry (some of my poems are going to be published in an anthology which i'm pretty excited about)...and well....anyway I better be going cause I have to go to work, but it was nice properly meeting you.
See you around hopefully...or should that be see you slim, because round isnt a good shape?

Monday, 5 October 2009

First week done

Okay so today was my weight watcher weigh in day and I now weigh

13 stone 1 pound

that means 1st week in i've lost my first 7lbs

I know nothing to be proud of i'm still sitting quite horrifically in the morbidly obese section of the BMI graph but hey its a start. And actually from 13 stone 8 that I was last sunday thats certainly an improvement.
Plenty more room for more improvement.

In other news I have been trying to buy a TV from marks and spensers for almost 2 months, its not going great waited 2 weeks for it to be delivered it came and its the wrong one, they then tried to charge me £100 to come and pick it back up again. LOL After a bit of a discussion they changed their minds so I have to wait another 2 weeks for them to come give me the original TV I wanted and to pick up the one I now have. Its all a bit crazy. Having to deal with people on the phone really stresses me out and stress is one of those things that triggers me into eating excessively...well actually any excuse triggers me off, but so far i've resisted loads of potential eating disasters. I'm feeling pretty proud of myself. So YAY.

Sunday, 4 October 2009

So what motivates you

So what snapped in me to make me join weight watchers in the first place? I only joined on Sunday the 27th of September. I decided to go for the WW online package rather than go to the meetings. There is a meeting in my town but my job keeps me busy and my free time is just soo hectic that i'm not sure i'd beable to commit myself to a meeting every week. So for convenience sake I took the Online option.

I have always had a thing for 14 stone. I remember as a kid...well I think I was about 15 at that point, thinking to myself if I ever go past 14 stone I will kill myself. Then one summer school holiday I spent the entire 6 weeks of holiday time out in the sun lounging and reading books. I stood on the scales one day and found I was 15 stone 2lb I had not only gone over my 14 stone threashold I'd missed that entire stone out. Over the course of 6 weeks I'd put on a stone just through sheer laziness. I didn't kill myself (obviously) because it was so ridiculously over my mental barrier of weight that I just lost all sense of self respect I think. I never grew up like a normal teenage girl. I didnt care about my appearance or makeup or clothes or anything like that. I saw myself as hideous and any attempt to pretty myself up would only draw attention to the fact I couldnt fit in nice high street store clothes. So I opted for tracksuits.

Anyway I'm getting sidetracked here. Me and my husband had gone to see my relatives for a few days and we came back on the saturday. Sunday morning I randomly stood on the scales and I was past the 13 and a half stone mark. I was getting dangerously close to my 14 stone "ARRGGH I'M GOING TO KILL MYSELF" Limit. Not that I would kill myself but still alarm bells were well and truely ringing. Well its more of a Claxon really.

So yep Sunday was the day I signed up. But whats going to keep me going I hear you ask. Well theres lots of reasons really and actually the list of reasons keeps getting longer. This is my latest motivation

Pretty isn't it....No? Well I like it. I love retro stuff and I can imagine being up on stage playing my guitar wearing this, or going to a family gathering wearing it. All my family would be utterly shocked because I would never normally wear something like that. I don't have the figure for it at the moment. I bought it already (in a size 10-12) and its in the post, on its way, and when it gets here i'm going to hang it up and bask in its glory every morning until i'm able to get into it. And once I can get into it I'm going to be a very happy bunny indeed.
Theres one issue with that dress I worry about though. My arm flab. Yeah Batwing city. I swear if I was walking down the street with my arms spread out and a large gust of wing caught me, I could have free paragliding lessons. I'm already trying to combat that through a range of yoga techniques taught by that wonderful Wii fit game. My arms ache from the exercise but thats a good thing right? Hopefully I'll start to see and improvement soon.
Another one of my motivations is my mood. Since starting to do something about my weight i've been feeling really positive and energetic. Its made me and my husband laugh much more and has generally brightened our whole life a little teeny bit more. I know there will be weeks where I may stay the same and possible even put weight on, but long term wise I know i'm on this for the long haul and just that positive idea that i'm getting my weight under control has really perked me up and I want to keep this feeling of being in control. So thats my other main motivation.
So what about you? What motivates you?

Hi and welcome to my journey

My names Sammy. I'm just an average 28 year old girl...well thats not actually strictly true you see i'm overweight, well obese to be exact. At 13 stone 8 pounds and being only 5 foot tall i'm in danger of being as wide as I am tall, okay so that last bit was an exageration I mean at my fattest I was 18 and a half stone. That was when I was 22 here lemme show you a picture of me doing cosplay (that's where you dress up as computer game and anime characters its one of my many hobbies)...

<------ Not pretty, although at the time I had fooled myself into thinking I was fine. i'm no where near that big anymore i'm sitting at 13 and a half stone but again for someone of my height thats not really ideal now is it, So this is what I look like at the moment on the right. Luckily my guitar hides most of the flab. I hide behind my guitar a lot

So yeah as you can see still a way to go huh. ----------->

Well I've taken a few very positive steps. First off I joined weight watchers. I joined WW once before back when I was 14 I've always been a tubby person you see and it was an endless source of misery at school being picked on because of your weight is no fun and obviously you get depressed at yourself so of course its natural to comfort eat so you get picked on more so you get more depressed so you eat more....see a pattern here? So yeah I joined WW when I was 14 but lost interest pretty quick. The meetings were far away from where I lived and if on the off chance I did lose a pound or two I would reward myself with chocolate. Dumb huh. Yeah. Dumb.

So anyway i'm 28 now and my priorities and outlook on life are radically different from the 14 year old me. So I thought well this WW online course looks like a spiffy thing to try out, what is there to lose...other than weight of course. So yeah I signed up and tomorrow is my first full week. I've noticed a difference in me already, not nessecarily in weight or size but in motivation and energy. I don't normally eat much fruit and veg and exercise is a no go area for me, these may be habits that might go a little way to explaining my size problem. So having stuck to eating masses of fruit and veg to fill up on and having gone and bought a wii fit and learning yoga already my energy levels are through the roof. I'm sleeping much better and just generally feel like I can take on the world.

Perhaps a lot of that is knowing that i'm finally, properly doing something about my weight. I guess time will tell.

Anyway nice to meet you hopefully see you around as I trek down my journey to fitness and thinness