Sunday, 4 October 2009

So what motivates you

So what snapped in me to make me join weight watchers in the first place? I only joined on Sunday the 27th of September. I decided to go for the WW online package rather than go to the meetings. There is a meeting in my town but my job keeps me busy and my free time is just soo hectic that i'm not sure i'd beable to commit myself to a meeting every week. So for convenience sake I took the Online option.

I have always had a thing for 14 stone. I remember as a kid...well I think I was about 15 at that point, thinking to myself if I ever go past 14 stone I will kill myself. Then one summer school holiday I spent the entire 6 weeks of holiday time out in the sun lounging and reading books. I stood on the scales one day and found I was 15 stone 2lb I had not only gone over my 14 stone threashold I'd missed that entire stone out. Over the course of 6 weeks I'd put on a stone just through sheer laziness. I didn't kill myself (obviously) because it was so ridiculously over my mental barrier of weight that I just lost all sense of self respect I think. I never grew up like a normal teenage girl. I didnt care about my appearance or makeup or clothes or anything like that. I saw myself as hideous and any attempt to pretty myself up would only draw attention to the fact I couldnt fit in nice high street store clothes. So I opted for tracksuits.

Anyway I'm getting sidetracked here. Me and my husband had gone to see my relatives for a few days and we came back on the saturday. Sunday morning I randomly stood on the scales and I was past the 13 and a half stone mark. I was getting dangerously close to my 14 stone "ARRGGH I'M GOING TO KILL MYSELF" Limit. Not that I would kill myself but still alarm bells were well and truely ringing. Well its more of a Claxon really.

So yep Sunday was the day I signed up. But whats going to keep me going I hear you ask. Well theres lots of reasons really and actually the list of reasons keeps getting longer. This is my latest motivation

Pretty isn't it....No? Well I like it. I love retro stuff and I can imagine being up on stage playing my guitar wearing this, or going to a family gathering wearing it. All my family would be utterly shocked because I would never normally wear something like that. I don't have the figure for it at the moment. I bought it already (in a size 10-12) and its in the post, on its way, and when it gets here i'm going to hang it up and bask in its glory every morning until i'm able to get into it. And once I can get into it I'm going to be a very happy bunny indeed.
Theres one issue with that dress I worry about though. My arm flab. Yeah Batwing city. I swear if I was walking down the street with my arms spread out and a large gust of wing caught me, I could have free paragliding lessons. I'm already trying to combat that through a range of yoga techniques taught by that wonderful Wii fit game. My arms ache from the exercise but thats a good thing right? Hopefully I'll start to see and improvement soon.
Another one of my motivations is my mood. Since starting to do something about my weight i've been feeling really positive and energetic. Its made me and my husband laugh much more and has generally brightened our whole life a little teeny bit more. I know there will be weeks where I may stay the same and possible even put weight on, but long term wise I know i'm on this for the long haul and just that positive idea that i'm getting my weight under control has really perked me up and I want to keep this feeling of being in control. So thats my other main motivation.
So what about you? What motivates you?