Friday, 27 November 2009


First off thankyou to those who commented on my last blog, it really means a lot that people bother to read my rantings about my past, times were tough at points but i'm glad that all happened to me, it made me who I am today. *hugs*

This is a poem I wrote a while ago.  Its about life and what it means to me...


What is music? Leaves on a breeze.
Birdsong consuming the air that we breathe.
The sound of laughter, of children at play.
The colours of dusk at the end of each day.

What is happiness? Eternal love.
Peace and goodwill, snow white turtle doves
Heart shaped balloons, icecream and cake.
Little girls smiling, swans on a lake.

What is hate? Conflict with guns.
Being kept in the dark, from the light of the sun
Fighting and cursing. Killing and Dying.
Friends torn apart, little kids crying.

But what is life? Guns on a breeze
Fighting consuming the peace that we breath
Killing and Icecream, Cursing and Cake
Little girls dying, swans on a lake.

It shows that even though there are some really wonderful things in this world, equally there are some really horrible things too, but through it all, even the toughest times there will always be hope.

I mention this because in America its been thanksgiving recently and everyones thankful for the wonderful things in their lives, but the tough times are important too.  I think, when I look at my life, that its only through the points where I really struggled that I learnt the true value of the wonderful things.  So many times in my life I wanted to die, but friends and family pulled me through.  tough points in my life I learnt who I was by my actions.  I learnt (and I don't want to be conceited but i fear this is gong to sound very mch so) ..I learnt that I actually like who I am. 

Sure i'm a bit on the podgy side but I think everything else is pretty good.  I have an almost whimsical notion of life, you know where please and thankyou are important, holding open doors for people who need it, saying good morning to people in the street, always holding true to always being true to yourself, sticking your neck out for your friends.  I like that about me.  I have a seriously over-reactive imagination, when i'm left in the house by myself I often freak myself out with ideas of ghosts or other creepy things.  I never worry about rapists or murderers or know the real things.  No I always worry about ghosts and goblins LOL I'm odd like that, but again I like the fact that i'm odd

I also like that i'm not afraid to stick out, I spent my whole school life being bullied at school, if it wasn't for being podgy and having braces on my teeth and glasses and having a posh english accent in a rough scottish school, signing up to the chess, debating, public speaking and scrabble club, really sealed the deal for me. hehehe, to be honest I probably would have beaten me up if I hadnt already been me.  Paint a giant red target on me and have done with it.  But bullying stopped me worrying about fashion and fitting in, I knew I was never going to be accepted so I didnt let it bother me.  Thats carried me to my adulthood and now I wear stuff that I want to wear not what the masses dictate and I like that about me. It gets me odd looks from time to time and the odd shout from some yob across the street but in the end i'm actually, overall, pretty happy about me.

In the wise words of eeyore from winnie the pooh....

"the good thing about rain is that it always eventually ends"

So no matter how tough life gets, just keep being you and things'll work out, because its okay to be who you are.

Oh and I made a dinosaur..well crochetted one, shes called raaawrbeena, like ribena but with a rawr, I felt this post needed a picture of a dinosaur  just to finish it off nicely LOL.


Friend of the Bear said...

Hi Sammy. I'm glad you're you! And even happier that you're happy with yourself.

Cute Dino!

Bearfriend xx